• Rose The Blogger

Dating After A Breakup

This one hits home for me because I've been through it before and I'm currently going through it. Dating after a breakup. There are so many different ways to go with this. I guess the number one question is when is it the right time to start dating again? 

The answer to this is when you're emotionally ready. So when will you know when you're emotionally ready? Well, when you aren't going to bed at night thinking of him/her and what went wrong with the relationship. When you don't do the ugly Will Smith cry from the famous daddy issues episode, "how come she don't want me man?" 😂 When you stop checking their social media pages. Depending on the situation and nature of the breakup, you may need to cut ties completely to aid in your healing process. That means deleting their phone number and old text messages as well as blocking them on all social media sites. If the means for communication is not there it may make it easier to get over the heartbreak. 

The reason I say make sure you're emotionally ready is because you don't want to start something with someone new and bring baggage into it. When you do, there tends to be alot of comparing and bringing up of your ex's name. Your new bae will get tired very quickly of always hearing about your ex and your past relationship. So do yourself a favor and do you for a while. It's ok to mourn the relationship. The state of mind you're in is critical. Get past the curling up on the couch phase and over eating or not eating at all and back into hobbies, friends and work. You should be in high self esteem before getting back into dating. 

Taking a break from dating isn't only about healing, it's also about growth and lessons learned. Think about what you're past relationship taught you and what you can bring into the next one. You should decide on what you want and don't want from a partner before going into another situation. A breakup can teach us so much about ourselves; your style of communication, whether that style is effective or not, how we handle insecurities, conflict, and co-existing as an individual. 

Once you're ready focus on keeping it light at first and keep your options open. A one night stand or fling may not be a bad idea. However, if you're a parent be careful. You don't want to be that parent who has different guys/girls in & out of your life. Keep in mind that it's a breakup for your kids too. They also need time to heal especially if they were attached to your previous partner. Your healing time may not be the same as theirs. Seeing a parent with multiple partners can be damaging for children and can cause them to rebel and disrespect you. 

Moreover, the length of time you wait before starting to date again is different for everyone. What's more important is that you grow. If you're looking into getting into another serious relationship, I think it's best that you're sure you're over your previous one! 

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